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You think your job sucks? Let me tell you about the people I work with.

First, there’s this supermodel wanna-be chick. Ok, I’ll admit, she’s pretty hot, but damn she is completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on her makeup. She is extremely self centered and never considers the needs of anyone other than herself. She is dumber than a box of rocks and I find it surprising that she has enough brain power to breathe.

The next chick is exactly the opposite- she might even be one of the smartest girls on the planet. She has endless career opportunities but she’s still here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I doubt she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive past the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. The guy is baked before he comes to work, after work, and even during work. He probably hasn’t been sober any time in the last 10 years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and, to make things worse, brings his fucking giant dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walking around half stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald’s and Burger King every single fucking day.

Anyways, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

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